Nighttime is the worst time. No matter whether I come home after reffing a game to a dark house or have been home, I miss Michael the most at night. I often meditate and read a little before going to bed and think about him. I have the picture from his 45th birthday party that Greg gave me on my bedside table. Many nights I pick it up and just stare at it, trying to look deep into his eyes one more time. I lose all track of time when doing this. I've stared at the picture for up to an hour just admiring his smile and looking into his eyes and wishing I could see them in person one more time.
The eyes are the windows to a person's soul, and anyone who knew Michael knew how welcoming his blue eyes were. He smiled at someone, looked them in the eyes, and you immediately felt comfortable being around him. Now all I have are pictures to remember those eyes. I'm just afraid I'll forget their gentleness, so I make sure I look at his picture every night before I go to bed.
After I turn off the lights, I'll often talk to Michael and imagine him still lying next to me. I place the pillows like he liked them and reach out in hopes of feeling his warm body. I miss him so much.
Michael visited me the other night while I was driving home. He was very bright, big smile and said: whass up!
ReplyDeleteThere was music playing on my car radio that was reminicent of the night we spent together, at the Vogue, before Michael left us. I was remembering that night, and how much I appreciate Michael's friendship and his loyalty to friendship.
It was nice to see him...in my mind...with such good energy. This took just a millisecond.
This was my second 'Michael Moment'. The first will need to be shared with you, Chad, directly as the circumstances are best not described here. ...insert smiley face here...
I appreciate this blog very much...and Love you.