Right now the sleet is coming down, leaving us with what the forecasters are saying could be the worst ice storm central Indiana has seen in years. The office was closed today, and I slept in until 1 p.m. I piddled around the house, visited Skip and Nancy next door, and had a late lunch at Steer-In. The forecasters are saying we're supposed to be hit even harder tonight, with up to an inch of ice.
I've planned ahead in case the power goes out. I have my flashlight, wood ready for the fire, blankets, and lots of candles. I really wish Michael were here with me. Moments like this really remind me that I'm alone now, and he's gone. If he were here, we'd probably be on the couch together, wrapped up in a blanket and watching TV with a fire going. I yearn for moments like that so much.
He hated this type of weather. I can hear him complaining and wishing we were in Florida or some other warm location where we didn't have to put up with this weather. We often talked about retirement and how we'd buy a cozy little house or condo in southern Florida to get away from the cold wintry weather. The storm just reminds me again of how that dream of so many is gone.
Accepting that he's gone is still a bit difficult for me. It still feels like a terrible nightmare that I'll finally wake up from, but I know in my head, this is my new reality. I must focus on the good in my life right now and take one breath at a time. I can start to have new dreams again for my future. I just wish he were a part of them.
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