Part of the grief process is not only saying goodbye to Michael, the person, but also saying goodbye to many of his clothes and possessions. One good thing about being gay and being with someone somewhat close to my size was we were able to wear many of the same clothes (especially shirts). I spent some time before I went on the trip sorting out what clothes to donate and which ones I still wear.
Tonight I spent another couple hours going through short-sleeved and long-sleeved shirts as well as pants hanging in the closet. Several times tonight I've found a shirt he wore a lot. What was my reaction? I immediately put it up to my nose to see if I could still smell a part of him on it. Perhaps a bit odd, but I would do anything to be able to smell him again (besides of course seeing and touching him and hearing his laugh).
I still have three drawers and one line of hanging clothes to still go through. When I'm done, I'll put everything in garbage bags and donate them to Wheeler Mission. During our nine years, every couple years we'd come up with 4-5 full garbage bags of gently used clothes that we didn't wear anymore and donate them to Wheeler. I plan on making one final donation in his name with these clothes. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll be driving down Washington Street and see one of his shirts walk by me. He'd be glad knowing someone in need was getting some good use out of his clothes.
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