I've had a heavy heart most of this week thinking about Michael. Tonight marks Dining Out for Life where several restaurants in Indy donate part of their proceeds to the Damien Center to help HIV/AIDS education, treatment, and testing. Michael and I have gone out with friends for dinner on this evening for several years. We've had our share of laughs with Greg, Tony, Bob, and Gary to name a few.
Today is just another day of many firsts this year that constantly remind me that Michael is no longer in my life. In my head I know dealing with his death and moving on with life is about the perspective I choose, but some days, the ache in my chest just hurts to much to be upbeat and positive. In those moments I just want to sit and cry -- not to feel sorry for myself but to mourn this wonderful man that was left us.
I almost chose to sit home alone tonight, but I decided the best thing to do is go out with friends who love me and have a good time. Tonight Michael won't be physically be with me when I dine, but I'll be Dining Out for Michael's Life tonight and think of him all night.
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